Let It Go!

They say if you love someone then you got to let him/her go. If he/she comes back then that means so much more. But if he/she never comes back then at least you will know that was someone you had to love in order to grow.

I once had a boyfriend who I loved so much. I mean he was always on my mind, we spent a lot of time together, and we loved each other so deeply. We even had a word we would say to each other. Forever. Forever would mean forever we would love each other, forever we would be together, forever we would be there for each other, etc. Being in love with him felt soooo good; it just felt so right. I thought that was the boy I would marry someday and I wanted him to father my children someday. Until this day I still feel the same way about him no matter what we went through.

Now of course he broke up with me due to my insecurities or my female intuition shall I say. I always said, “You can’t have a relationship without trust”. Yeah, I trusted him for years and still do, but when someone starts changing his/her ways and attitudes that trust turns into curiosity. I had to ask myself a question. Do I trust him enough not to “change” without informing me, (his lover) -what is causing this “change”? Change can definitely cause a relationship to deline.

Here’s an example, when Sasha menstruates she normally makes her boyfriend aware of that “change”, but this month she menstruated for an entire month without letting her boyfriend know because she was afraid. So when Sasha and her boyfriend go to sleep at night, she doesn’t want to be bothered. Therefore, her boyfriend assumes that she is cheating and decides to have sex with someone else. In reality, Sasha is carrying their embryo in her uterus. See how change can affect a relationship? Change was just something I couldn’t accept and I just had to investigate. So I asked him if he was cheating a few times, but so what, what was I supposed to do?

After the brake up I was heartbroken and I wanted to get over him so I got other boyfriends, but I would always compare them to him. Soon I developed the ability to see through boys. Well, not exactly see through them, but to be able to get in their heads to determine what exactly they wanted out of the relationship. Soon enough I found my self to be single for a year. I was still thinking about my ex as well as talking to him. Before I knew it, we started started catching feeling for each other. I asked him about commitment, but he said, "I do not want to be committed.

Obviously, I didn’t care because I kept him around. When I went off to college I started to evaluate myself. I said to myself, “Erica you are out of character. Control yourself because you are better than that and you deserve so much more. It’s time to let it go.”

So ladies if you found yourself in the same predicament just let it go because you deserve so much more. In the case that he comes back, make him work! Girl, all them tears you shed over him, why not make him work? Most importantly cherish that boy because it's not too many boys out here who can admit to their wrongs and compromise. In the case he never returns take it as a life lesson that will strengthen you in your next relationship.

-Erica Garner