Are You A Listener or A Speaker?

“I Wish She Would Shut

Her Big Mouth!”

“I Swear He Doesn’t Know

Anything!”

There are many attitudes and actions that are valued by America. One action that is valued by America is voicing your opinions and or believes. Another action is being a good listener. In a classroom setting, the teacher or professor enforces these values through class participation. So what happens if there is only one student raising his or her hand and answering all the questions? Or what happens if there is only one student who doesn’t participate?

Such behaviors influence people to develop assumptions about both the speaker and the listener. For example, the listener may make up an assumption about the speaker similar to this: Oh she swears she knows it all or he’s a nerd. The speaker may make an assumption about the listeners such as: What he didn’t do his homework or oh that girl doesn’t know anything.

Of course there is always that teacher or professor who calls on a student who often remains silent during class discussions. This is an awkward situation for both the speaker and the listener because the speaker is forced to listen and the listener is forced to speak.

Throughout my career as a student, I have always spoken out because my family taught me that it is a good thing to speak out on behalf of one's opinions and beliefs. In my own mind, I thought, that listening was easier to do because it didn't require critical thinking. So, I thought I should obey my family’s values while challenging myself by speaking out every chance I got.

Surprisingly, It wasn’t until I got to college, that I realized that listening is a rather challenging task. I would become anxious and later furious when my professors constantly skipped over my hand, even when it was the first hand raised. Eventually, I began to analyze the situation. I would think to myself maybe I should give my colleagues an opportunity to speak up and allow myself to work on my listening skills. Hey, I might even learn a thing or two. And before you knew it, the professor was calling on me because I wasn’t raising my hand anymore. Why? Because I was being the listener! When the professor called on me that brought out that speaker that was embedded in my personality and before you knew it I was back to normal; constantly raising my hand and answering all the questions.

So the next time you think, oh I wish she would shut her big mouth or I swear he doesn’t know anything, try taking a risk by stepping out of your comfort zone to see how easy it is for you to shut up or speak out. Also, be aware that it is possible for your weaknesses to emerge from you strengths and for your strengths to emerge from our weakness.