Dear Lover,
Yes, I admit! I'm in Love with you. As much as I try to suppress it, as much as I try to say I love him, BUT I'm not in love with him, as much as I try to move on, as much as I think about kids, or any other guy . . . damn it's YOU that my mind drift to thinking about. Yes, I surrender. Maybe that's what I get for thinking that I was that damn strong. Unforgettable nights I miss, unforgettable kisses, yes I reminisce. And sometimes think do you ever think of me?

I even found myself stepping out of character for you-settling to be a Ms. Side Jawn only for you. You knew that wasn't me and that was the reason why I gave you hell like a baby just wanting her way. I had a reality check though. I tried to stay away so I can cleanse myself. I'm mad as hell that you know me so well . . . you said I will do this. I hate you for that! :) Yes, I love and I want to be with you! I said it so many times it is starting to sound like a cliché. So just let me know if you are ready to say hello to the man and goodbye to the Jigglo.
Sincerely, Mrs. Lover

What was His Motive?

I often wonder . . . what was his motive? Was it to prove his manhood, to satisfy an addiction, or perhaps to provide for his family? I was rob of my freedom and sense of security, which meant the most to to me. I could care less about the materialistic things because they can be replaced, but will I ever have the freedom of walking while listen to music and/or talking on the phone? Will I ever have the freedom of leaving my house through the back door? Will I ever have the freedom of leaving my house after 5:00 P.M.?
Or will I ever feel secure enough to walk to the corner store alone? I now feel as if I am trapped in a box, but when you live in a world of winter, you have no choice. Being trapped in a box isn't that safe anymore. Your own home isn't a safe haven anymore thanks to many thieves. Your institution that you pay thousands of dollars for is not a safe haven anymore. Thanks to the convicts of Columbine, Virginia Tech, and many others. Your own job isn't a safe haven anymore thanks, to bank robbers, cop killers, and . . . oh yeah don't forget our infamous Dunkin Donut criminals. Your own law enforcers aren't even safe enough for you to walk with or talk with. Thanks to those dirty cops who like to molest, torture, and steal.
What was his motive or what was their motive?

Enough Cryin'

Enough Cryin', My Love

It is frightening when you are with someone and you begin to say I can't live without him/her. It is devastating, yet unbelievable when the two, that once was a whole, separates. It is amazing how you can sit around waiting for him/her to change, thinking that one day that person will come to their senses and realize what they had was good. It is painful, confusing, and stressful when you finally come to the realization that you and him/her will never get together again.

You are constantly struggling; trying to forget your “other half” . . . that never really completed you. That “other half” that only glorified what you already knew was valuable. You may be thankful for that “other half” that picked you up when you were helpless. Though you could’ve done it all on your own. In fact, wasn’t that how things were done initially?

You can call him/her that “special someone”. And yes, that special someone can bring you so much happiness, but leave you with so much distress. That special someone can walk into your life, helping you through difficult times. However, that someone may leave footprints of hardship that you have to learn how to step over so you can get over. Yes, you can get over that bridge that separates loneliness from self-satisfaction. And yes, you will drink that water that settles for only purest. Even though, you put up a good fight to get over, you now have to give it a final gab just to move on.

So now, go head and test the waters, but remember to only drink the purest. Enough cryin’ my Love . . . it’s time for you to flap your wings again.