When We First

When We First

When we first met
I knew you were the one.
When we first conversed
Boy, was it fun.
When we first hugged
I knew we were in love.
When we first kissed

I knew it was those lips I would miss.

When you first sucked on my body

I knew you I had to have inside me.

When you first told me you loved me

I knew I wanted you to be my hubby.

When we first got married
Boy, was I happy.

Love, I'm Killing Myself

Love, I'm Killing Myself

I've asked for love, but now I say no thanks.
It is more than obvious that, that was not what you were willing to take.
I'm so emotional and easy to break.
So I say thanks for at least giving me the pieces back.
Yes, I played myself; hurt myself; and I am slowly killing myself inside.
I just want to go in a box and hide.
I should have known better than try and try.
It was never there, so now the pain is what I fear.
Take out the knife.
Love, I'm not ready to die.
Building myself on you drove me crazy.
How do I even begin to become a young lady again

What I Need is Love

What I Need is Love

It’s what I want.
I want my professors to tell me that I am capable of all things and that I can conqueror the world if that’s my deepest desire.
I want to be adored in other places than the bedroom and pampered in other places than the beauty salon.
It’s not what I want, yet what I need.
It’s what my mind, body, and soul crave.
That feeling I may get from a baby.
So go ahead and impregnate me.
Or possibly from a man caressing my aching back.
Are you the masseuse?
It’s love.
Love!
Love from a mother who can kiss me goodnight
Or from a father who keeps his promises.
I crave the love from a friend, who wishes not to plot on me,
But to tell me she's here to help.
I crave for her to love me.
I crave for him to love me.
I need for them to love me!

Their New World

She was fed up with listening to the lies of her ex-boyfriend. He would say things like I’m going to call you or I'm coming over and never call or showed up unless he wanted something. For some strange reason she would always cater to his desires. Unconsciously, she developed a particular immunity for guys like him. She accepted these liars and deceivers because she thought they were the only ones that exist.

So, one day she meets a guy that is honest, respectful, intelligent, ambitious, and pleasant. She dismisses him. She thinks he is a weirdo simply because he is different than the others. He compliments her, teaches her new things, and introduces her to another world. His world. The world, in which, happiness, admiration, acceptance, and encouragement exists.

Day by day, he convinces her that he is not weird, but unique. Later, she begins to develop ardent feeling for him. Before you know it, he is the only boy she constantly talks, writes, thinks, and dreams about. She is amazed to see how “Mr. Weirdo” drastically transforms into “Mr. Right”. She often wonders why was she so ignorant and close-minded to his type in the first place.

She talks to GOD to ask him why is this man in her life. She wants to know things like: How long is he here to stay? How long is it before her heart gets broken? Is this real? Is he real? Should she hesitate on becoming emotionally involved with him or should she set her feelings free? She wants answers because she wants the best for both of them.

Her questions are answered and she obeys GOD by putting her guard down. As her relationship with “Mr. Right” progresses she learns to become humble and patient. Her happiness allows her to please GOD more and more everyday.

Then, one day, she begins to worry. She recognizes his relationships with other girls. She sees that the other girls are desperate to be with him sexually. This makes her sick to her stomach. She asks herself, how could these females disrespect themselves like this? What did he say to these girls for them to become so desperate? She thought maybe she shouldn’t consider a relationship with him because she thought she would appear to be desperate like the others. Of course she was never known to be desperate and couldn’t possibly see herself characterized by such a sinful word.

So she confronted him with this issue. He told her that those girls didn’t mean anything to him and that he liked her because she was more mature than them. After their conversation she realizes that the reason they both liked each other was because of their unique personalities. She found out that he was the most amazing guy she has ever met because he was the opposite of the guys she was used to. Similarly, he found out that she was a wonderful person because she was the different than the girls he was used to.

Now she only accept guys like him and the other guys are invisible to her. His world is now her new world and her world his his new world and the two settles for nothing less.

Artificial Love

That feeling you get when he tells you he loves you on the first date. How his firm voice whisper it in the phone night after night. Those three words that really only mean that he would like to get you in bed as soon as possible and will say anything to get you where he want you. You feel a sudden shiver through your body. It makes your heart warm and soul a bit satisfied.

Your intuition tells you it isn’t real, but your heart has long for this enjoyable feeling. You heart and your mind are now in conflict. The mind knows that falling in love happens over time. The heart feels any love is acceptable. The mind objects after a flashback of the last abusive relationship the two endured. The heart feels that love is a necessity and it is willing to settle.

****************************

That feeling you get when she calls you daddy. How her well-developed body, glossed lips, lustrous skin, and sincere eyes taunts you. Those four perfected features she primped for hours are enough for her to suck your pockets dry. You get this sudden erection when she tells you to meet her in room 6 at the Marriott. Then she kisses you on the lips at the cessation of the date. It aids your ego and makes you feel macho.

Your blood is pumping violently and you are impatient. Your instinct tells you to slow down. Your mind and your desires are in disagreement. The mind knows that one-night stands are not healthy. The desire wants anything that is pleasurable. The mind discommended after reliving a dreadful visit to the clinic. The mind is defeated by the desire.

Artificial love is that sudden passion that can derive from deceit. Artificial love is lust disguised as love. Artificial love is when a person associates or marries a person for financial gain. Artificial love is pretending to have ardent feelings for someone. Although, artificial love can be unexpected or tricky, do not surrender upon it. Force your mind to fight that heart and that desire that makes you want to capitulate. You saw the effects of artificial love so play your part smart because now the ball is in your court. What will be your next move his “I love you be” or her “gold digging room at the Marriott”?

-Erica Garner